MERMAID JOKES!

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Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid


The Mermaid Joke

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman




What kind of bra does the  Mermaid wear?

Algebra!




where did the fisherman and mermaid meet ?             

On line!



If a Mermaid and a Bull Mate, will they have MooMaids?




A man was sitting in the bar when he noticed another patron a few stools away. The guy had a body like Charles Atlas, but his head was the size of a thimble.

The first man said, "Please excuse me for staring, but I can't help but be curious as to why your body is so well developed, but your head is so small?"

The man said, "Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you."

The drink was ordered and the story began. "I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there alone for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or fish to come by so I would have something to eat, looking up I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes. 'Great,' I said. 'I’d like to be rescued.'"

"She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island. Next I asked for a body like Charles Atlas. Another slap of the tail and here it is. Then, noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wishes fulfilled I asked if I could make love to her. She said no that it just wouldn't work her being half fish and all. So I said, 'Well, how about a little head then?'


MORE Mermaid Jokes

Do mermaids use knives and forks when they eat?
No, they use their fish fingers!


What did the sea say to the Little Mermaid?
Nothing, it just waved!


What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish's tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn't a mermaid?
A photograph of a mermaid!


What is a mermaid's favorite song?
Salmon-chanted Evening!


What names do mermaids have?
How about Water-Lily? Or Coral?
Maybe Michelle, as that can be shortened to Shell!


Which part of a mermaid weighs the most?

The scales!


Why did the Little Mermaid look the other way?
Because the seaweed.


Why did the Little Mermaid ride a sea-horse?
Because she was playing water polo!


Why was the Little Mermaid embarrassed?
Because she saw the big ship's bottom!


Really Bad Mermaid Joke, Click Here (must be 18 to view)

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