Six reasons why you should think before you speak
Yacht, Charter, Bareboat, Holiday, Vacation, Accommodation,British Virgin Islands,BVI


 

      Have you ever spoken  and wished that you could

 

      immediately take the  words back...

 

      or that you could  crawl into a hole?

 

      Here are the  Testimonials of a few people who  did....

 

 

 

 

 

      FIRST  TESTIMONY:

 

 

 

 

 

      I  walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in  tow

 

      and  asked loudly,

 

      "How  much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow  job?"

 

      I  turned around and walked back out and never went back

 

      My  husband didn't say a word...

 

      he  knew  better.

 

 

 

 

 

      SECOND  TESTIMONY:

 

 

 

 

 

      I  was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

 

      I  was unhappy with the women's type I had been  using.

 

      After  browsing for several  minutes,

 

      I  was approached by one of the good-looking  gentlemen

 

      who  works at the store. He asked if he could help  me.

 

      Without  thinking, I looked at him and said,

 

      "I  think I like playing with men's  balls."

 

 

 

 

 

      THIRD  TESTIMONY:

 

 

 

 

 

      My  sister and I were at the mall  and

 

      passed  by a store that sold a

 

      variety  of candy and nuts.

 

      As  we were looking at the display  case,

 

      the  boy behind the counter asked if we needed any  help.

 

      I  replied, "No, I'm just looking at your  nuts."

 

      My  sister started to laugh hysterically.

 

      The  boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked  away.

 

      To  this day,

 

      my  sister has never let me  forget.

 

 

 

 

 

      FOURTH  TESTIMONY :

 

 

 

 

 

      While  in line at the bank one  afternoon,

 

      my  toddler decided to release

 

      some  pent-up energy and ran amok.

 

      I  was finally able to grab hold  of

 

      her  after receiving looks of  disgust

 

      and  annoyance from other  patrons.

 

      I  told her that if she did not start behaving

 

      "right  now" she would be punished.

 

      To  my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in  a

 

      voice  just as threatening,

 

      "If  you don't let me go right now,

 

      I  will tell Grandma that I saw  you

 

      kissing  Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

 

      The  silence was deafening after this enlightening  exchange.

 

      Even  the tellers stopped

 

      what  they were doing.

 

      I  mustered up the last of my dignity  and

 

      walked  out of the bank with my daughter in  tow.

 

      The  last thing I heard when

 

      the  door closed behind me,

 

      were  screams of  laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

      FIFTH  TESTIMONY:

 

 

 

 

 

      Have  you ever asked your child a question too many times?

 

      My  three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty  training

 

      and  I was on him constantly.

 

      One  day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick  lunch

 

      in  between errands.

 

      It  was very busy, with a full dining room.

 

      While  enjoying my taco,

 

      I  smelled something funny,

 

      so  of course I checked

 

      my  seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

 

      Then  I realized that Danny

 

      had  not asked to go potty in a  while.

 

      I  asked him if he needed to  go,

 

      and  he said "No".

 

      I  kept thinking

 

      "Oh  Lord, that child has had an

 

      accident,  and I don't have any clothes with me."

 

      Then  I said,

 

      "Danny,  are you SURE you didn't have an  accident?"

 

      "No,"  he replied.

 

      I  just KNEW that he must have had an accident,

 

      because  the smell was getting worse.

 

      Soooooo,  I asked one more time,

 

      "Danny,  did you have an accident?"

 

      This  time he jumped up,

 

      yanked  down his pants,

 

      bent  over,

 

      spread  his cheeks

 

      and  yelled

 

      "SEE  MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

 

      While  30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos  laughing,

 

      he  calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

 

      An  old couple made me feel  better,

 

      thanking  me for the best laugh they'd ever  had!

 

 

 

 

 

      LAST  BUT NOT LEAST  TESTIMONY:

 

 

 

 

 

      This  had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days

 

      and  a very embarrassed female news anchor who  will,

 

      in  the future, likely think before she  speaks.

 

      What  happens when you predict snow but don't get  any!

 

      We  had a female news anchor  that,

 

      the  day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,

 

      turned  to the weatherman and asked:

 

      "So  Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last  night?"

 

      Not  only did HE have to leave the  set,

 

      but  half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

 

 

 

 

 

      Now,  didn't that feel good?

 

      Pass  it on to someone you know who needs a  laugh

 

      and  remember

 

      we  all say things we don't really  mean,

 

      so  think before you speak.


 
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